Why We Hate Cannes

Yes, it's because we’re jelly. But not for what you think.

The fiscally responsible reason for hashtag#canneshate is the outrageous cost of Cannes Lions International Festival of Creativity. In an era where hashtag#holdingcompanies can’t afford to pay vendors in the same quarter, or even in the same year, this is the most bilious of bitter pills.

But if we’re indulgently honest, most of our graceless envy is about hashtag#opportunity.

Every year there are 3 dozen assignments where the clients are smart enough, organizationally aligned, and have enough money and time to make something profoundly unforgettable. Of those, 11 will be hashtag#superbowl projects. The rest will be from the same 22 brands (worldwide) spread between the same 11 hashtag#cretiveagencies, where the same 7-9 hashtag#creativeteams generate the most work. In total, that's less than 100 people.

But most of hashtag#CannesLions wins are NOT from a client-generated assignment. They’re the result of hashtag#adagencies and clients working together or hashtag#creativeteams generating their own opportunities.

Here the numbers get ick though. Maybe 13% creatives have the necessary experience to make and present work that will win at Cannes. Over 75% of which don't work at agencies that support developing hashtag#awards opportunities or know how to sell them.

So only about 3.25% of creatives have both the experience and the support for Cannes. And they are all 1000% engaged in an endless pitch grind or are consumed by corporate frippery. A tiny % of these will sacrifice what non-existant personal time they have to focus on a hashtag#Cannes effort. Maybe .8%.

And that's most of our winners.

99.2% of hashtag#advertisingcreatives feel like they never had a chance. And they never did. This makes some of the work and topics discussed at Cannes feel hugely out of touch, and even irrelevant. Because hashtag#winning at the most prestigious festival for creativity isn’t just about “being a great creative.” It's about having access to the support you need to be a great creative.

And that support doesn't just happen. It exists only because a brave few insist upon it. These are the ones who weather the constant bullying, career-murdering debates with global overbosses, and fiscal bean herders; which will inevitably result in most of them being fired in the next 36 months. THAT deserves Brobdingnagian recognition.

And while every hashtag#Canneswinner isn't the result of some epic battle, the majority are.  And we are jealous of those whose allies fought hard for their creativity.

We are jealous of the ones who made good use of their creative safe spaces, not only for the opportunities they earned but for the opportunities they were permitted to create.

We are jealous of the gorgeously brilliant minds who fully deserve celebration, especially with the anti-creative numbskullery of our industry,

And of course, we are hashtag#jealous of the brilliant work we did not do.

And are hungry to best it.

Even if no one wants to let us.