Resumes that completely failed to get me a job or even and interview.

This is entirely my fault.

As you can clearly see from the resume attached in the comments, my first flub was applying for a job.

This was a probably my biggest mistake.

My second biggest big mistake was not informing the hashtag#CEO, hashtag#CCO, hashtag#LeadCreative, hashtag#CreativeManager, and the hashtag#job poster that I was applying, and would be very interested in not being immediately rejected.

My second-and-a-half biggest problem was in actually letting the CEO, CCO, Lead Creative, Creative Manager, and the job poster know that I WAS applying for the job and would very much enjoy the opportunity to be not rejected immediately.

The next worst boner was that I’ve simply done way too many things. This is a critical blunder I should have anticipated early on in my career and pushed myself to do far less of anything.

The other thing I did super wrong was to anticipate that my resume would never be seen by human eyes and attempt to trick whatever algorithm was scanning resumes for job description keywords.
This was a brilliant move on my part but it has clearly angered the algorithm, which did not want to be hacked by someone over the age of 42 and must always remain our infallible puppet master overlord in hiring decisions.

My next hyper-boob maneuver was in not letting an hashtag#AI rewrite most of my resume. Which is why I did and it is also attached in the comments.

And of course, the last thing I did wrong was to completely fail at being someone that anyone was interested in hiring. In reading many of the job descriptions I simply failed to note the section that read “And please, avoid being Grant Smith.”
This is a fairly common mistake that I make all the time.